Brano and I spend so much time each day gazing at Vivien. I get to be with her more often, so my gazing is sometimes suppressed by feelings of exasperation; but gaze I do.
It is important that such a little being be cute. Because when you really think about it -- babies are disgusting.
Vivien farts. The loud farts of an adult. The other day I was with her at Kika, a housewares store, and she let one rip. I’m not talking some dainty, I-weigh-only-ten-pounds fart; it was a grown-up air biscuit that reverberated through the aisle. I exclaimed, “Vivien!!!”, as though my more polite sensibilities were being offended. Surely, those people around me thought, “look at that woman blaming her daughter for her own gas”.
In addition to farting, Vivien “works” on her bowel movements -- sometimes for what feels like hours. Hours (it isn’t really hours) of excruciating focus and the grunting to go along with it. We can’t see her from our bed as she is hidden by bumpers guarding her little flailing limbs from being caught in the rails. We can’t see her, but we can hear these strange noises. I imagine that during the night an evil fairy has come and replaced our beautiful baby girl with an angry tasmanian devil who is devouring the bedding each night.
She clearly devotes much of her time and energy to these gastrointestinal events. Sometimes it seems that they surprise her and she adds shrieking to her repertoire of noises. We feel sympathy. The grunting is so human. We’ve all been there. We suppress the noise, but we’ve been there and perhaps some of us would have liked to grunt. And as her little baby body grows and gets stronger, we cheer her efforts of expulsion and say “push, Vivi, push!!!”.
Little girls might be made of sugar & spice, but that is when the mute button is on. What PR help little girls would need if the truth got out... farting, grunting, shrieking...
And the result... that strange mustardy-seedy-yellowy goop. The result is surprisingly ungross to me. I derive some kind of strange satisfaction in that mother’s milk gobbly-goo. If Vivien has a job, then it is to grow and develop; this sticky, gelatinous mess is proof that she is doing that physical part of her job. Fair play to you Vivi. Good work.
Then there is the other end, that smart little button of a mouth that coos, awwwwww, ahhhhhh, ooooooooooo, and ohhhhhhhhh. We respond, awwwwww, ahhhhhh, ooooooooooo, and ohhhhhhhhh in this strange banter of infant and adult. There is then burping. Yum. The dry kind, which somehow feels like a small victory and the wet kind, which somehow feels like a defeat. What a waste to see that milk go up instead of down.
Of course, this news has been out for a long while. There’s no debate. Babies are not considered disgusting; they are sweet, adorable, innocent... all those good things. Perhaps this is a lesson to us all that something so sweet, adorable, innocent... all those good things, is also human and carries with her/him those wonderfully disgusting bodily functions that we all have as an adult. It is a reminder that you as a parent are a huge contributing part of the development of a person. A person who will one day be polite and decent and hide all these bodily offenses. In the meantime, I enjoy the juxtaposition of this beautiful baby (see the pics below) and these bodily functions.
It is important that such a little being be cute. Because when you really think about it -- babies are disgusting.
Vivien farts. The loud farts of an adult. The other day I was with her at Kika, a housewares store, and she let one rip. I’m not talking some dainty, I-weigh-only-ten-pounds fart; it was a grown-up air biscuit that reverberated through the aisle. I exclaimed, “Vivien!!!”, as though my more polite sensibilities were being offended. Surely, those people around me thought, “look at that woman blaming her daughter for her own gas”.
In addition to farting, Vivien “works” on her bowel movements -- sometimes for what feels like hours. Hours (it isn’t really hours) of excruciating focus and the grunting to go along with it. We can’t see her from our bed as she is hidden by bumpers guarding her little flailing limbs from being caught in the rails. We can’t see her, but we can hear these strange noises. I imagine that during the night an evil fairy has come and replaced our beautiful baby girl with an angry tasmanian devil who is devouring the bedding each night.
She clearly devotes much of her time and energy to these gastrointestinal events. Sometimes it seems that they surprise her and she adds shrieking to her repertoire of noises. We feel sympathy. The grunting is so human. We’ve all been there. We suppress the noise, but we’ve been there and perhaps some of us would have liked to grunt. And as her little baby body grows and gets stronger, we cheer her efforts of expulsion and say “push, Vivi, push!!!”.
Little girls might be made of sugar & spice, but that is when the mute button is on. What PR help little girls would need if the truth got out... farting, grunting, shrieking...
And the result... that strange mustardy-seedy-yellowy goop. The result is surprisingly ungross to me. I derive some kind of strange satisfaction in that mother’s milk gobbly-goo. If Vivien has a job, then it is to grow and develop; this sticky, gelatinous mess is proof that she is doing that physical part of her job. Fair play to you Vivi. Good work.
Then there is the other end, that smart little button of a mouth that coos, awwwwww, ahhhhhh, ooooooooooo, and ohhhhhhhhh. We respond, awwwwww, ahhhhhh, ooooooooooo, and ohhhhhhhhh in this strange banter of infant and adult. There is then burping. Yum. The dry kind, which somehow feels like a small victory and the wet kind, which somehow feels like a defeat. What a waste to see that milk go up instead of down.
Of course, this news has been out for a long while. There’s no debate. Babies are not considered disgusting; they are sweet, adorable, innocent... all those good things. Perhaps this is a lesson to us all that something so sweet, adorable, innocent... all those good things, is also human and carries with her/him those wonderfully disgusting bodily functions that we all have as an adult. It is a reminder that you as a parent are a huge contributing part of the development of a person. A person who will one day be polite and decent and hide all these bodily offenses. In the meantime, I enjoy the juxtaposition of this beautiful baby (see the pics below) and these bodily functions.
(during the writing of this blog -- mostly one-handed -- Vivien has had a nap, several farts resulting in a diaper change, she’s eaten, burped, and spit up)
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